msn conversation with bigSmellyDumdum
SmellyDumdum: in the end lyn i just want to see you happy with that bubbly smile
me : well not at the moment la
just have to wait a while for things to get better
the other day i was just thinking the same thing.. i actually dun remember laughing much
it's like forgetting the last time you laugh... like really just sit back laugh
dun remember doing it.. funny huh
SmellyDumdum: yeah true.. even i think that too
that day at cq saw you also so sad and looks like a poor lil hippo who is struggling to keep
up with the world
until i even dunno what to do to make you smile like before
is it really that obvious?
i haven't seen Dumdum for only 2 months, but he got so worried he flew in from perth for a week just to check up on me. thank you dumdum for caring!
maybe no matter how many times i tell myself i am ok, i really am not feeling all that great. but i don't even know what's wrong or where to begin to find the source of my unhappiness. honestly, if crying would help me let it all out i'll be crying buckets. but i can't coz the tears just stopped flowing months ago.
so i'm drowning it all in work.
maybe, just maybe..*cross my fingers* the moo from that would allow for some retail theraphy. coz i've lost my supplier for strawberry kisses and the one who tucks me in at night..
i suppose my most reliable night companion after 21 years is stinky and son. god, that's depressing..