meeting a ba-chang

today in the lift i saw a big ba-chang. not literally the real thing but one very fei-po wearing a very very an-an leather jacket. the poor leather jacket looks like it was going to rip at the seams.
i feel like going up to her and saying. fei-po you need to suck it in more la to wear something like this. coz your toa-pa-to is seriously like a big ba-chang in that jacket wear a corset if you must. your wardrobe bo ming gia for you to wear already is it? can you wear something looser?
* you need to know hokkien and cantonese to read this*

damn i'm being a bitch.

stupid non-existant daylight savings

i thought day-light savings started yesterday. hence i've been late one hour for just about.. everything. great. just great. because of that i'm left with some spare time because class finished early.. or rather i went only for the last 30 minutes of it.

i was just reminiscing over hmm.. the last time i saw fakeAngMo, our conversation was this:

FAM : you know i've been drinking a LOT this past week coz i'm leaving.
me: no surprise. you're a Melbourne icon. even when i want to have a goodbye coffee with you i have to book days in advance. you're just too famous!
FAM : but you want to know the funny thing? after drinking week after week, if say i stop drinking for a couple of days, i actually you know feel thirsty.
me: yea! i know the feeling! it's like you're missing alcohol right?
FAM: yea right!

both keeps quiet* coz we just realized how much of an alcoholic we both sound at the moment.
FAM, if you're reading this now, and you decided to join AA i'll go with you for support. Support only k! coz i'm telling myself i still don't have a problem.


xx


i'm going to share my recipe for spaghetti carbonara
coz it's super easy and takes less than 30 mins for a decent meal

1 pack pasta
1 can creamy soup ( i use campbells cream of mushroom)
bacon
mushrooms
cooking cream
cheese
1/2 onion and 2 cloves garlic

chop onion, garlic , mushroom and bacon
boil pasta ( best pasta boiling time = 12 minutes in boiling hot water. don't forget to stir)
fry onion and garlic in oil
add mushies and bacon bits cook it a lil
add the soup ( don't add water )
and a little cream to thicken it ( i find 1 can soup to one can cream is good enough)
add some cheese to thicken the sauce more
add the cooked pasta in and stir with sauce

finished. and you don't even have to add salt.


if becky's mum found out how much i cheated i'll get slaughtered
she's a true blue italiano. even makes her own pasta no packet stuff for her. so can you imagine how she'll faint when i tell her this recipe? i most likely would be confined in their home learning how to make home made gelati. not that i'll be complaining much tho with all the food they would stuff in my belly =)

xx

monday morning blues..

Kwang was too bored. i have nothing to do at work. that has resulted in this:
(continue reading only if you have nothing better to do. don't say i didn't warn you)


Real name: Sui Lyn Yap

Nickname: Yap, Yappy, Yapster, Sui, Lyn, Lynnie, Lindts

Married: No

Male/Female: lemme check.. hmm boobs no extra wiggly.. female

High school: Mgs Klang, PLC Melbourne

College: PLC

Short or long hair: Long

Are u a health freak: as long as i don't look like a malnourished african kid. no

Height: 160cm / 5' 3

Do u have a crush on someone?: now?? no..

Do u like yourself: yea. i look at myself in the mirror every morning and go.. "who's the pretty girl. i'm soo in love with you, i wanna marry you.."

Piercings: 3

Righty or lefty: Right

First....

Surgery: 2 wisdom teeth. 3 years back. hurt like a fucking bitch

Piercing: 6 years ago. ears

Person u see in the morning: kim. coz he's my housemate

Award: for the one that would grow up but never grow out of her awkward teenage years

Sport u join: shopping. shopping in 3 inch high heels for 2 hours should be considered an olympic sport. don't judge it till you actually try it.

Pet: 3 rabbits - K.O, 1 dog - K.O., turtle - K.O. i don't have a very good track record as you can see..

Vacation: not been on one for a while. i don't consider that 2 week break a month ago back to KL a vacation

Concert: don't remember attending one..

First crush: ??

Currently...

Eating: blueberry bagel

Drinking: latte from squisito

I'm about to: work till 11.30 then uni

Your future...

Want kids: that don't cry don't demand and don't make too much noise.

Want to get married: don't intend to at the moment unless i cave into family pressure or fall madly deeply in love with the right one.

Careers in mind: journalist, editor of some magazine, designer / making jewelry

Which is better? something that allows me to achieve all 3

Lips or eyes?: both are equally important

Hugs or kisses: xoxo

Shorter or taller?: taller

Romantic or spontaneous: a combination of both. i'm very greedy aren't i..

Sensitive or loud: loud.

Troublemaker or hesitant?: trouble is my middle name.

Have u ever....

Kissed a stranger?: yes? no? maybe? i can't remember... must have been a drunken night

Drank bubbles: yes.. i really wanna try kristal.. costs $400 Aud. =(

lost glasses/contacts: i've broken several pairs of glasses tho..

Ran away from home: yea. for like half a day.

liked someone younger: no

liked someone older: so far my track record says i've only ever dated older guys

Broke someone's heart: yeah.. sorry! it was by accident/intentional *(cross out whichever is applicable to your situation) truthfully i think my heart got broken more tho.. karma. what goes around comes back to kick you in the arse

Been arrested: no. i'm a juvenile waiting to be thrown in and locked up for the betterment of the public

Cried when someone died: yea. balled them out like a stupid.

Do u believe in...

Yourself?: yes. no. sometimes. it falters

Miracles: if it happens to me right now. i would. wait* nothing happened.. no..

Heaven: i believe that it is an interesting idea...

Santa Claus: yea. along with the tooth fairy, rudolph the red nose reindeer and.. (continued below)

Magic: yes and fairies, gnomes, witches, wizards...

Angels: if they really looked down at you all the time.. that's kinda creepy stalker-ish right? i mean you'd be in the toilet peeing and an angel is looking at you. in real life you call those people perverts...

Answer truthfully..

Is there someone u want to be with right now?: not in particular. but i'd like to have someone to want to be with.

Do u believe in God?: kuan nim po pi me... woot* she rocks my world the way red hot chilli peppers / artic monkeys does in the morning..

Tag 5 people:

JJ - you've been tagged twice now!

Willie

Nh3

MinMin

whoever bo ming gia cho (nothing better in the world to do) and is reading my blog now.. now i've given you something to do..

a conversation with a BigSmellyDumdum from perth

msn conversation with bigSmellyDumdum


SmellyDumdum: in the end lyn i just want to see you happy with that bubbly smile
me : well not at the moment la
just have to wait a while for things to get better
the other day i was just thinking the same thing.. i actually dun remember laughing much
it's like forgetting the last time you laugh... like really just sit back laugh
dun remember doing it.. funny huh
SmellyDumdum: yeah true.. even i think that too
that day at cq saw you also so sad and looks like a poor lil hippo who is struggling to keep
up with the world
until i even dunno what to do to make you smile like before


is it really that obvious?
i haven't seen Dumdum for only 2 months, but he got so worried he flew in from perth for a week just to check up on me. thank you dumdum for caring!

maybe no matter how many times i tell myself i am ok, i really am not feeling all that great. but i don't even know what's wrong or where to begin to find the source of my unhappiness. honestly, if crying would help me let it all out i'll be crying buckets. but i can't coz the tears just stopped flowing months ago.
so i'm drowning it all in work.

maybe, just maybe..*cross my fingers* the moo from that would allow for some retail theraphy. coz i've lost my supplier for strawberry kisses and the one who tucks me in at night..
i suppose my most reliable night companion after 21 years is stinky and son. god, that's depressing..

Listed as important

things i can't live without at the moment:

1: lunch dates
2: moo from work
3: blueberry bagels
3: coffee from squisito
4: ice cream (pref haagen-daz but they don't have it in mel :( )
5: stinky and son


things i have to do at the moment:

1: that essay on fetishm and sado-masochism (it ain't as sexy as it sounds!)
2: earn more moo (the legal way- i really wanna try vue de monde!! =)
3: shop less
4: drink less } both equals save more money!
5: call mum


yes i am very bored at work..

xx

happy drugs anyone?

so over the weekend, this is what happened:

yes i did crawl out of my shell for bern's so-called surprise birthday at crown towers. (i'm too lazy to post up pics of it here. go to facebook) ended up watching dragonball in the toilet tv when i was high. cable tv in hotels are awesome. don't you just adore the fact that it feeds you addictive stupidity by the minute. as the intoxicated idiot i was, i loved every minute of the old skool reminiscing and catching up with my childhood which lasted 10 minutes before i got dragged out to drink some more.

i didn't make it to lavish due to a miscommunication with HamsterBoy but i did go to CQ. which i thought was awesome. i've gotten slightly senile over the past few months as i've forgotten a few names. sorry gavin!
but the drunken debauchery was awesome since it gives me a chance to see people that i haven't seen for ages.
new favourite drink : chamboard lemonade

then on monday dinner with dorkwillie and TeapotsNH3. Tuesday with BigBearChang, Mike, Aki, Makmur.

see i'm making an effort to piece my life back together.. slowly, but i still think that someone should go into the business of packaging a legal happy drug. anyone who works in a pharmaceutical company reading this, i would so totally buy a lifetimes' supply of your happy drug packed with endorphines. that's how bad i need it at the moment. coz i can't keep crying about feeling sorry about nothing.

xx

the long weekend

honestly, i hate being single. i have no idea why people keep asking me how much fun i'm having being single, partying it up with my fancy shoes. i've already given up the crazy lifestyle, hung up my party shoes and between work and study, not much time is left. so yes i'd rather at least have a boy which i can go home and cuddle up to and watch movies with.

but hey since it's the long weekend and that's always a good excuse to crawl out of my shell and liven up my boring life, this seems to be the current timetable

tonight : xx's birthday part (it's a surprise..)
friday: Lavish with the ol' school Chilli gang
sunday: according to BubbliciousEvelyn, i'm supposedly making an appearance at CQ bar.. something i didn't know about till today

this long weekend has recovery spelt all over it. so if i don't pick up your call, best bet is that i've K.O-ed

my old bodyguards are back in town!

i went on a pub crawl on saturday night. after 2 years of not going for one, i think i held my own pretty alright against FatPenny & MickeyM. was great seeing them after so long, just to catch up, relax have a pint.. maybe 5.. reminisce about the ol' college days, the scars (yes the ciggie burn scar is still on his left palm) and what not.

true we've grown up, found jobs, but walking down Bourke St, matty just had to do what he does best, be the big bro/ bodyguard and as usual, the compulsory pick Lynnie and toss her around move. just cause i complained my feet were aching coz of my heels, he scooped me up and carried me all the way to the next bar. LittlePimp's bodyguards sure can't beat that!

xx

he bought me a present. i don't know what to say. i still don't know what to say.. it just sits there..

i keep telling myself it's too late. and part of me still thinks that it is too late.
so what do i do with all the remaining bits and pieces that are left?
try to fix them or just discard them and walk away?

Singledom = Pathetic??

ok since being single everyone has came up with this crazy notion to sell me.
first it was MrLittlePimp, and now it's MachaiRueb & HamsterBoyAz

they think they can somehow auction me off and some crazy folk would actually be interested in buying me. i think it's the most far-fetched, money + time wasting idea i've ever heard in my entire life. no one in their right mind would want to buy an geeky, cynical, extremely-socially awkward girl. if you guys are set to lose money go ahead, but you're never gonna profit from this stupid scheme.


xx

work has been terribly boring and slow these past few days. DocBoss and i went to ezard *click* the other night for dinner. now he too has got it stuck in his head to match-make me. but not until he's gotten sick of my company.

mum is also currently suffering from the omg-what-if-i-don't-have-a-son-in-law syndrome. i find the situation where i'm stuck in getting extremely ridiculous and annoying. is it really that bad to be single at 21, trying to work out what i want in life with no potential in sight? yea i suppose in my case it might be because i tend to repel instead of attract.

it's a choice i've made and i plan to stick to it. cynical i may have become in the ways of love, but everyone has to understand, i just haven't met the right guy yet..
sigh* just coz my mum is so god damn worried.. i'm reluctantly agreeing to terrible idea of being match-made, recommendations are welcome... well sorta..

just some links

only if you think sexy lingerie is as important as i do ~
Victoria's Secret Runway 2007 *click*


for a good laugh:
READ ONLY IF YOU'RE REALLY MALAYSIAN click*

back in melbourne

i've gone on hiatus. so other than work and study my life is put on hold at the moment. it's not as if i want it to be that way, it just is. at 21 i'm facing a 2 decade life-crisis. for some it's meant to hit when you're 40 to me it just happened 20 years too early.

i've finally made the split clean with my other half for the past 1 1/2 years and went thru a huge family drama.
all except 2 of my new year resos have officially been flushed down the drain. the holiday that i thought would inject life back into me just drained more out of me and made me realize this is not what in my life. question now that i have is how much of myself can i cut off to survive on the bare emotional minimum.

maybe it's true that in some cases i don't have it as bad as others who are suffering way more than me. that this depression can't last forever. one day i just have to stop crying and slowly heal or the fear that i might go blind sets in.


at the moment though, yes i'm coping. because i have always managed somehow to cope, to continue, to strive on. no i'm not in the best condition that i can be in but there is so much that you can hope for. there are still no tell tale signs other than if you call me on one of my bad nights or if you happen to catch me in the morning after a bad night with swollen eyes. i might sound pessimistic, but when everything has failed you thus far it's hard not to be. i just need time to come to terms with the fact that this is just the reality that is life, and things would hopefully be better.

in the mean time i'm saving up to go on a proper holiday maybe at the end of the year before summer school. any suggestions?