THE PAST, THE PRESENT, BUT WHERE IS MY FUTURE?
i'm having a mixed rollercoaster of emotions at the moment.. so this is a very emo post.. don't read if you have trouble dealing with my emo side..
no matter how hard you try to move on. somehow the past has a way of creeping up on you
it's just like tonight. i don't mean to ruin things, but like you i just wanted to have a little bit of fun. sorry i don't mean to ruin your birthday i really don't but it turns out that with you around things have a way of turning wrong. and sometimes i do wonder why we cant' be friends. it's really sad coz you were a part of me for 4+ years.
things are just so fake. those that you thought that were your friends aren't really there for you and those that you didn't think of in the first place tend to stick up for you. to you-know-who that thinks that i'm a trouble maker thanks for sticking up for me. sorry if i did ruin your fun tonight.
and to those that are wanting to come bash the fuck out of me. i dare you to come bash the fuck out of me. i mean it. i'm sick of it. if i want a night out of fun and you want to come ruin it, i've only got one thing to say to you bitches, BRING THE FUCK ON! i just hope that you fucking read this because i sincerely mean it. don't just yell at me. actually try and take it to another level so that it gives me a reason to smash the fuck outta you. you are very rude and direspectful and you have no fucking right to yell at me for no reason.
i seriously hope that god gives you some class coz you're never going anywhere with that sort of attitude!
i already told you leave me alone bitch. i really just want you to piss off..
AHH.. whatever la...
and to ***
if you loved me. why aren't you ever there for me when i need you the most. i want you to catch me when i fall but i find myself still free-falling to nowhere. why is it that when the tears fall the shoulder that i lean on is not yours? why is it that lately i feel that you give me more tears than laughs? why is it that i'm always only second-best, and i have to compromise being alright with second best..
i want, need you to know how you feel about me. don't be with me just coz you feel like you have to...
no hearts this time around.. too exhausted.. need to love myself first ok?