Isn't it funny how we mark important occasions through the passage of time. How certain events have impacted us more than others and how much they linger on in our minds. And isn't it amazing how certain people have left and effect on us.
I'm just thinking if it weren't for the friends i've made and the things i've done. Where would i be now? Would i be the same person as i was if certain things didn't happen or if i didn't meet certain people? I can name a few people that i know if it weren't for them i wouldn't be here.
And would i regret not being here? Not meeting the people i've come to know as my good friends. Can i regret something that i never felt before?
Funnily though when i think about it, after everything that has been said and done sometimes i wonder how come i'm not stronger than this? I mean everytime i break i manage to pick myself up together without anyone's help and still be alright. But how come this time i feel so much weaker than before? And this time if i somehow do break, how come i'm partially hoping that you will save me?
Do i think i have matured with time? Yes i have. Because the people i've met over this past 1 year have really opened up my eyes. That in a way they've made me accept several things about the past that i cannot change because they're already past. No matter how much they still hurt no matter how upset i get about it, all i can do now is look forward. Hopefully they'll all continue being there for the future me.
I have come to fully understand that love is something that shouldn't just be given away on a whim. Maybe that's why i'm so cautious. Maybe i'm afraid. Which girl isn't scared of getting her heart broken?? hmm?? But then again. My heart is here, in a way you already have it, but i just want you to know how important it is and treasure it.
I don't have a clue where this post is heading to. But to me this is me revealing part of myself already. Something that i rarely do. But the things that have occured lately, i need an outlet to say it all out.
but on a lighter note:
MADISONS THIS FRIDAY NIGHT!
tickets are $16
you know what number to call.. SO DO IT ALREADY!
plus it's AlkyIggy's 21st birthday and ChilliCharms birthday celebrations.
if you guys know these 2 infamous alcoholics please come and get them drunk off their asses on this special occasion to mark their growing times. i can't do it all alone! it's 2 against 1 at the moment...
extra news folks.. my flight is now on the 14th of june. the arvo flight. i'm going home 14 days earlier than the initial plan. so see you all really really soon.. well sooner than expected anyway..