IN CONTROL

i'm writing this post partially because of a certain friend, partially because of a message that i got from a relatively unknown girl and for all the girls out there i suppose.


to me everyone is in control of what they do and what they say. true, sometimes i do say things that well i don't mean so i hope people don't take it the wrong way. and sometimes i do things that i shouldn't especially when i am drunk so hopefully no one holds me accountable to my drunken debauchery. but other than that, most of the time you are in control of yourself. you are responsible for your own actions.


so what do you do when you give that control to someone else?


that is what my girl-friend did. she gave that control to someone else. all because of love. true, love is blind that you know that there is a hole in front of you but every gut feeling is telling you to let go to just jump. let go of all your inhibitions. but then what happens when things go wrong? what if there is nothing to catch you at that bottom of that hole? who is going to piece back all your broken pieces?


yes it is hard. falling in love is not at all a bed of roses sometimes coz we forget that roses have thorns. so what i'm saying is that please, even if you're in love, keep part of that control. control over yourself. over your actions. over your heart. over the amount of trust that you have for someone so that it won't go overboard. it's this control that will keep you from falling to pieces at the end of the day. true friends will always be there to help piece you back together to make things seem better, but there is a limit to what they can do really. it is up to you gather yourself together and want to piece your life together.


don't say that i don't know how it feel like to be in love. don't say i haven't met the person that makes me want to throw caution to the wind. because i have. i have met a person that makes me want to just take that leap even though the pit seems bottomless. and all i can do is pray that he is at the bottom to catch me. but past mistakes, past relationships that have formed me into what i am now have made me think twice about things. make me more cautious, more careful coz i know what the pain is like. and the memory of the pain is more than enough to refrain me from giving up the control i have over myself. so for now if he really has feelings for me i hope he can be patient.


so i hope that you guys just keep this piece of advice at heart. and well think before you leap.


heart* lyn


anyway i found a really cute blog click here to read it

someone stole my cake!!

ok i woke up this morning because of a really bad dream..
i was sitting in a cafe with kimBear and i really wanted to eat cake ( yes i'm having cravings for cake now) and he wouldn't buy one for me coz he said that it would make me fat!
but along comes his bffX and well he jumped outta his seat and happily bought her a piece of cake.. the cake that I WANTED!!
so i stormed outta the cafe and went to look for my BestieJes and cried.


i think i have a problem.. it's called jealousy.. even in my dream!! this is sad...
i'm still not over it.. *sigh*
and i want cake now...

heart* lyn

ChilliCharm's Birthday Present ~

unique because it was desgined & made by yours truly..

i hope she likes it!!


other than that.. Pirates of the Carribean 3

a 3 hour movie. damn long. leg cramp. an ok watch, as in not too bad but i still prefer the first one. wonder how many times i'm going to watch this one since i got dragged into watching the 2nd one 4 times!!
and in one week i've already watched it twice.
but still it is worth a watch coz i love johnny depp in his part as captain jack sparrow.. who doesnt??
according to friends there is a 4th one coming out? i suppose they're trying to milk the money making cow dry then..

heart* lyn

OpsLangkawi

i nearly forgot to annouce OpsLangkawi

the plan.. go to Langkawi for about 3 days
and get wasted on the duty free alcohol by the beach and also spa..

sounds really relaxing to me just what i'd need after exams..

anyway so far got 1 confirmed and 2 maybes..
any more takers in this operation??
let me know soon!! it'll take place sometime 21/22 june and will last 3-4 days..

it'll be loads of fun so i hope more people wanna take part..

MADISONS

eric! the party not that boring ohkay??!! no need to hang yourself!!

where would a party be without MissT

ChilliCharms

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABES!!

by the way your present is still with me!

ya you wanna see who's tongue is longer right?? yours la william..

the following are of the Birthday Boy.. MrWHY

*note the name change from AlkyIckyIggy*

haha i like this pic.. there are 3 monkeys in it!! hahaha



sorry i know there is not a lot coz someone suddenly MIA on his own birthday.. o.O'

i find this is growing trend..

supposedly it was also George's surprise birthday.. no one infromed me before hand!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ChilliGeorge!

SeanDaMan! and no that is not my drink..
the BimboGang..
this is the other Sean.. if i say other Sean i'm talking about this guy..

i don't know what is happening but there seems to be loads of candid pics.. haha don't you just wanna know what Chris was saying?



the DoubleHappiness couple..

anyway slow week though..

that was my friday night. and saturday spent the whole day window shopping with KimBear, Gerrard & Paul. and for the fun of it i tried on a corset at this shop in mel central called Anton's.i have to say if you can stand not being able to breathe that thing gives you the perfect figure! in the end i was so tired i actually K.O-ed after dinner.

didn't help that i kept getting phone calls from people wanting to buy tickets! dumbers.. it was a friday event!

went to VicMart this morning for breaky and guess who i met?

the-ex.

god is seriously trying to punish me.. that's what i'm thinking.

i keep meeting him everywhere! why??!!!!

(-.-''') black face

that's it for the week though! now it's SwotVac.. damn it

STUDY. STUDY. STUDY!!

o and i nearly forgot..

my blog has turned 1!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BLOG!!

and i hope you all keep reading!

heart* lyn

Isn't it funny how we mark important occasions through the passage of time. How certain events have impacted us more than others and how much they linger on in our minds. And isn't it amazing how certain people have left and effect on us.


I'm just thinking if it weren't for the friends i've made and the things i've done. Where would i be now? Would i be the same person as i was if certain things didn't happen or if i didn't meet certain people? I can name a few people that i know if it weren't for them i wouldn't be here.
And would i regret not being here? Not meeting the people i've come to know as my good friends. Can i regret something that i never felt before?


Funnily though when i think about it, after everything that has been said and done sometimes i wonder how come i'm not stronger than this? I mean everytime i break i manage to pick myself up together without anyone's help and still be alright. But how come this time i feel so much weaker than before? And this time if i somehow do break, how come i'm partially hoping that you will save me?


Do i think i have matured with time? Yes i have. Because the people i've met over this past 1 year have really opened up my eyes. That in a way they've made me accept several things about the past that i cannot change because they're already past. No matter how much they still hurt no matter how upset i get about it, all i can do now is look forward. Hopefully they'll all continue being there for the future me.


I have come to fully understand that love is something that shouldn't just be given away on a whim. Maybe that's why i'm so cautious. Maybe i'm afraid. Which girl isn't scared of getting her heart broken?? hmm?? But then again. My heart is here, in a way you already have it, but i just want you to know how important it is and treasure it.


I don't have a clue where this post is heading to. But to me this is me revealing part of myself already. Something that i rarely do. But the things that have occured lately, i need an outlet to say it all out.




but on a lighter note:


MADISONS THIS FRIDAY NIGHT!

tickets are $16
you know what number to call.. SO DO IT ALREADY!


plus it's AlkyIggy's 21st birthday and ChilliCharms birthday celebrations.
if you guys know these 2 infamous alcoholics please come and get them drunk off their asses on this special occasion to mark their growing times. i can't do it all alone! it's 2 against 1 at the moment...


heart* lyn



extra news folks.. my flight is now on the 14th of june. the arvo flight. i'm going home 14 days earlier than the initial plan. so see you all really really soon.. well sooner than expected anyway..

LAUGHTER OF THE DAY:

my BestieJes is an artist..


coz she managed to talk a guy into letting her do this to him:

doesn't he look so much more pretty now?

haha couldn't stop laughing when i saw this picture.. haha

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few little known facts about me..

1. i can count the people really close to me on one hand. they know who they are and weirdly my bf/ex-es aren't one of them. i have a hard time letting others in.

2. i love andy warhol's art. yes i love the abstract none practical aspects to life.

3. i collect denim. i freakishly have 21 pairs of jeans. i have idea no why but i haven't worn at least 5 pairs.

4. i love dita von tesse because she makes taking off your clothes seem sexy and classy at the same time instead of slutty.

5. i have only one real fear in life. and it's not heights, snakes, spiders or bugs. you have to find this one out yourself.

6. i design jewellery when i am bored. but i haven't made anything in a long time, till only lately.

7. and yes i do talk to myself

heart* lyn

TO: KrystleCrystal & BFFngJJ

GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR EXAMS GUYS!!

notice the whole multi-colourednes??
coz rainbows are meant to be a sign of good luck and this one is for the both of you.. =)

oh and to all my UK friends who are having exams too!!
not 100% sure who is and who is not.. all i know is that i am in 3 weeks time =(
and i'll need a little bit of this rainbow then..

and also

JUST FOR LAUGHS:

as a form of procrastination.. i took this pic of my stoned looking soft toy neko-chan

this is what might happen if i have kids and you decide to pop over to visit them..

stoned kids.. hahaha

i'd like to point out that i didn't drink that amount of chivas. that's because i don't particularly love drinking chivas

CoffeeTwo gave me that bottle with that amount of Chivas in it as a house-warming present.. hope that made you laugh

*heart* lyn

STUDYING IS BORING..

and i just like to say MissTina and WHY... my blog's chatterbox has never been so interesting..
and about the taking pics nude thing.. at least there is something for me to laugh at when i get bored..

WHY if you really want to, we can do it on your second 21st or let's all play a stip poker game!!

JK JK! don't take it seriously..
i'm damn shitless and lifeless at the moment..

other than that..

I FINISHED SUPER MARIO!!

siao.. i know.. i only got the present 5 days ago and i finished the whole game already..
ok ok .. i cheated slightly at the last stage but that's it no other cheats... haha..

heart*lyn

THE PAST, THE PRESENT, BUT WHERE IS MY FUTURE?

i'm having a mixed rollercoaster of emotions at the moment.. so this is a very emo post.. don't read if you have trouble dealing with my emo side..



no matter how hard you try to move on. somehow the past has a way of creeping up on you

it's just like tonight. i don't mean to ruin things, but like you i just wanted to have a little bit of fun. sorry i don't mean to ruin your birthday i really don't but it turns out that with you around things have a way of turning wrong. and sometimes i do wonder why we cant' be friends. it's really sad coz you were a part of me for 4+ years.

things are just so fake. those that you thought that were your friends aren't really there for you and those that you didn't think of in the first place tend to stick up for you. to you-know-who that thinks that i'm a trouble maker thanks for sticking up for me. sorry if i did ruin your fun tonight.

and to those that are wanting to come bash the fuck out of me. i dare you to come bash the fuck out of me. i mean it. i'm sick of it. if i want a night out of fun and you want to come ruin it, i've only got one thing to say to you bitches, BRING THE FUCK ON! i just hope that you fucking read this because i sincerely mean it. don't just yell at me. actually try and take it to another level so that it gives me a reason to smash the fuck outta you. you are very rude and direspectful and you have no fucking right to yell at me for no reason.
i seriously hope that god gives you some class coz you're never going anywhere with that sort of attitude!

i already told you leave me alone bitch. i really just want you to piss off..

AHH.. whatever la...





and to ***

if you loved me. why aren't you ever there for me when i need you the most. i want you to catch me when i fall but i find myself still free-falling to nowhere. why is it that when the tears fall the shoulder that i lean on is not yours? why is it that lately i feel that you give me more tears than laughs? why is it that i'm always only second-best, and i have to compromise being alright with second best..

i want, need you to know how you feel about me. don't be with me just coz you feel like you have to...


no hearts this time around.. too exhausted.. need to love myself first ok?

NEW GADGET!


in pink some more!!


super-duper happy!! thank you so much kimBear!!
so sweet that you got me such a nice pressie..


only one small problem... EXAMS ARE COMING!! =(
so cannot play as much as i like..
that's why in the first picture the box is sitting on a pile of books..


but damn fail la.. this thing is like calling out to me to play with it..
it's so damn good to procrastinate on.. i need to hide it somewhere to avoid temptation..

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other than that..

I'VE BEEN DOMESTICATED!!


other than study lately.. all i do is cook or clean..
well actually more cooking than cleaning really..


i've came up with a few recipes that taste pretty good so far..


- beef and mushroom rissotto
- lamb cutlets in red wine with brocollini and mash
- roast chicken wrapped in bacon with silvered potatoes on blue cheese sauce and italian salad with vinegrette dressing

YUM!!

not to boast or anything but they've all been not bad actually although they were all experimental since i made them all up..
too bad though there are no pics coz me and my housemates were too hungry


anyway, back to studying no more procrastinating..

*heart* lyn

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANTHEA!

i hope you like your presents and that it provides you endless fun and entertainment..

*_~

but since you couldn't make it to your birthday dinner.. i'd like to share some pics with you..

this is sean taking the train for the first time..

hey.. if you're going to give up your car at least give me the keys instead of discarding them!

ICE BARbefore going in..


see such a relaxing sub-zero place

everyone seems to be loving the big gun..

sean's found a new religion
that pei fei doesn't really seem to agree with...

the drinks in their frozen cups..

our cold drinks..

group pics!

ride the lion.. one ride = $2

let's kiss the fishy!!

lucky guy ain't he?

the girls and the boys..

$30 per entry for 30 minutes + 1 free drink

quiet worth it for the experience.. though it is my 2nd time there..

problem is after all the cam-whoring and when the drink is finished there isn't much to do..

and since you can't switch on the flash on your camera the pictures look a bit fuzzy..

can't help it tho.. my hands were shivering slightly coz to take pics i didn't put gloves on..

o and if you squint close enough i'm on their phamplet.. well one of the people in there is me =)

and to anthea: maybe you'll attend the 2nd round we celebrate your birthday..

hopefully you'll make it to that one..

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another good thing about the weekend

sass and bide sale

how not to buy?

jeans = $50

top =$30

happy happy me!

i wanted 1 pair of sass and bide.. i ended up with 2!!

problem is i have too many pairs of jeans.. i need a new hobby other than collecting jeans..

can't help it.. it's addictive..

i'm just loving this weekend but it's ending soon..

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and not forgetting..

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MUMMY!!

i love you!!

i hope you have a great day ahead of you!

heart* lyn

p.s

the reason why i haven't been updating much is coz my computer has been konking out on me the past few days. hopefully it's fixed now.. why is all my gadgets konking out on me!! even my phone is doing something funny.. *sigh*