companionship vs relationship
it's 5 am in the morning here in melbourne and i'm not asleep yet..
fact is i can't sleep not that i don't want to, but i don't even feel tired so i sit here and blog. about something that has been bothering me for a while now. and i have oka-san's words ringing in my ears > human relationships are the most complicated in the world.
and i have to agree with her. human relationships are complicated because we have so many emotions raging though us. we want so many things in this world and yet there are so many still that we are undecided about. for example the need for closeness with another human being. to feel connected knowing that the person will always be there for you. does that mean that it is a companionship you want or a relationship instead?
that's the hardest part i think. coz we all want to feel that closeness to someone. yet we don't want to be hurt. the phrase "love like you've never been hurt before" i really wish i could practice it. wouldn't that be great for me.
but i honestly can't. i've been hurt and it's hard to let your guard down. coz you've already been bitten once and you know the pain is so bad you don't want to go through it again. it is already hard enough to find the strength to stop crying about it, to get up and think about all the positive things in life that will help you get through everyday. it is even harder to forget the person that you love.
it's a fine line to tread. when is it that care for someone as a friend and when do you care for someone so much more?
the few stupid facts like you can't stop thinking about that person, you constantly want to spend time with her/him and you miss them all the time. the butterflies in your stomach just wont' stop fluttering. does that tell enough? or has there got to be more?
there are so many pros and cons to both sides. just give this a thought for a minute i suppose. where do you cross the line between friendships and the need for companionship into something more?
luv =) lyn
ps: i'm not working in chillipadi anymore guys... so let's just leave it at that.