old habits die hard

i held her hand in mine and her eyes were full of tears.and i'm still wondering how things came to this. so i do all i can do to tell her that it's all right. that things would get better.
am i being a liar?

so for one night i decided it was just enough. i turned back to old habits. i threw a new year's resolution out the window over the weekend. i started drinking again after 5 months of sobreirity. in the words of homer simpson, beer is the cause and solution to all problems. and i actually felt that there was some truth in them. that for one night i actually felt alright in the past 2 months or so after receiving that news. although the embarrasing fact is that i made a fountain i think it wasn't as bad as the 4 that BFFngJJ made in one night.


let's hope that the make believe alcoholism doesn't return. and things really do get better from now on. that somehow things would work out. i need a miracle.