and then there was none...

and you need to get your priorities in life straight~

that's what Dr.G told me today while working for him this morning. my priorities..
i've lost sight of them. i've lost sight of so many things over the past year, time has managed to fly past me so quickly. and i will finally admit this. i'm scared.

i've put my mind to working on all the short term things that i've lost sight of the bigger picture. and i don't know what has happened. today for the first time i stood up my best friend who came all the way from kl for 2 hours. the old me would always be punctual...

the old me would have not put work over friends. the old me would make time for myself instead of constantly trying to sell my soul to the highest bidder. that's what some days really feel like now. and the old me would never have imagined me now. at 22 suffering from what some would consider a mid life crisis.

i'm clinging onto the very last threads of a social life. i'm trying so hard to keep in touch with friends so i don't alienate myself. i'm trying even harder to stay healthy. and above all i'm trying very hard to still be me and have all the things i want.

i want my cake and still be able to eat it, but it doesn't seem possible to want so many things in life. and i cannot, will not shave off more of myself than i already have.

i think i need a long break.

Rant!

i've kept such a low-profile for the last several months that it's amazing that there are still rumors circulating about me. i will be the first to admit that over the past few years i've done things i'm not proud of and i've been called different things. but this one tops the cake.

because i choose to be a better person and achieve more in life i don't owe anyone any apologies. this accusation is so ridiculous that those who know me will never believe it. and those who know the truth can't help but laugh at it.
if you have a shitty life don't go around spreading rumors that aren't true because you are just too damn free. i can't help but laugh because it is just too damn childish.

thanks des + shaun for being a shoulder of comfort. to a for telling me the truth. and to ku for the hugs. not forgetting to s for all the extra bits of alcohol coz honestly that's the only way he knows how to make me smile..
thanks to everyone for your words of comfort + support. just to let you all know i'm ok and don't worry about me.

xoxo
lyn

Hello world!.. and then some..

yes it's just been a non-stop rollercoaster pile after pile of work to go through.
i'm currently going on 200 bpm and even though there are times when i think i'm reaching breaking point there is still no sign of me slowing down.
whether this is good or bad thing, i no longer have any clue.

this past two weeks i've gotten myself so many jobs that i've earned a total of AUD*xxxx* on my own. (yes that's a total of 4 figures). convert that back to RM and i'd be rich.
for a half-past-non-grad still a student. i think that's pretty-damn-good.

i'm thinking of a break. of going back even for just 5 days. after all now with AirAsia flying direct it costs less than my pair of shoes to go home. only problem is they have a very CB website. an idiot created and designed that bloody-non-user-friendly piece of crap.

if not a holiday to go home and party, my next investment is going to go to face-masks and concealers. the eye-bags are already making me look waaaay past my age. i suppose some eye-cream might help too!!
any suggestions for good brands?

hmm....

it's days like these that make me so tired and frustrated. and i only end up miserable
i honestly cannot be bothered anymore. too flipped

am i supposed to apologize a thousand times before i'm forgiven?
does that mean all the good things i've done for you before this are all forgotten.

you are who you are. whatever that is, is what you decide

but what you are to me is no longer what it was.


xx