back in melbourne

i've gone on hiatus. so other than work and study my life is put on hold at the moment. it's not as if i want it to be that way, it just is. at 21 i'm facing a 2 decade life-crisis. for some it's meant to hit when you're 40 to me it just happened 20 years too early.

i've finally made the split clean with my other half for the past 1 1/2 years and went thru a huge family drama.
all except 2 of my new year resos have officially been flushed down the drain. the holiday that i thought would inject life back into me just drained more out of me and made me realize this is not what in my life. question now that i have is how much of myself can i cut off to survive on the bare emotional minimum.

maybe it's true that in some cases i don't have it as bad as others who are suffering way more than me. that this depression can't last forever. one day i just have to stop crying and slowly heal or the fear that i might go blind sets in.


at the moment though, yes i'm coping. because i have always managed somehow to cope, to continue, to strive on. no i'm not in the best condition that i can be in but there is so much that you can hope for. there are still no tell tale signs other than if you call me on one of my bad nights or if you happen to catch me in the morning after a bad night with swollen eyes. i might sound pessimistic, but when everything has failed you thus far it's hard not to be. i just need time to come to terms with the fact that this is just the reality that is life, and things would hopefully be better.

in the mean time i'm saving up to go on a proper holiday maybe at the end of the year before summer school. any suggestions?

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??

all i wanted was for MotoRzrV3 to get a brother/ sister.. and the poor thing got both..

the miscommunication:

i told MrYap i needed a phone.. ok i'll ask Bear to bring it over for you

and he kindly, very generously bought me the black one..

rare occasion.. i've not asked my parents for a phone for the past 4-5 years now..

he bought me one that i liked.. thank you!!

i've been hinting to Bear since last years birthday i needed a phone.. and he FINALLY got the hint.. and he bought me the pink one..

coz it was the one that i told him i liked since last years birthday..

the other option i wanted was the MotoRzr2V8

which is not out in KL yet..

that even MrYap couldn't obtain for me..

so now.. which one do i use??

i like both!! haha.. so greedy..

xx

the week has been
relatively the same..

i suppose because i've fallen in a routine i don't feel like blogging..

the only thing that happened: Bear came back on monday..

hugs and cuddles to go around for everyone in melbourne now..

wait.. he doesn't do that.

he scared Chew, ganged up with SlutMonkeyIan in burning me..

sulks and pouts when he's stressed..

he's a mean Bear. but cuddly on the inside.. right??

9 YEARS..

~ if tears culd build a stairway

and memories a lane

i'd walk up to heaven

and bring you back again~

and sometimes i wonder..

if you're looking down at me from heaven

and maybe one day i'll see you again..

till then i will always miss you both..

xx

had steamboat dinner with IanDaMonkey and Bevan today..

luckily that place is a buffet if not i think we all po-kai already after having eaten so much!

then off to pelegrinis bar for coffee and dessert..

IanDaMonkey loves the coffee there now.. haha surprised that he's never been there before

and charltons for pool

i like having nights like this..

it is really quiet funny when i call Mims and my sis provides the background music..

her current one being this:




it is actually quiet funny..

HEAR NO CUPPACAKE, SEE NO CUPPACAKE, SAY NO CUPPACAKE


haha yes!! i finally got them!!


even Gingy was happy to say hi to them

and i got 2 kinds the choc chip

*the i love you bit was given to my bro's gf... hope she likes it!*

and mint choc chip

half of them are already gone coz they're so tiny and bite sized that it was just pop! no more!! haha..



yes i am so excited and happy that i finally ate these cuppacakes. i have to say that they are actually quiet nice!! Mims says i'm so greedy for wanting to eat them so bad..

i keep telling her that she just doesn't understand how long i've been waiting for them
~ she did eat one tho and admit that it was not bad actually! hahaha.. see told you so!

anyway that's just some pics for now.. more coming later..


xoxo lyn

and the days feel shorter, and times moves faster..


i know i'm leaving kl..
but why is it that this time


my heart feels so much heavier
as if i don't really want to leave


i haven't felt this way in a while
it's as if i'm getting home sick even before i left home
i feels as if i'm going to miss all of this..


my heart is a new shade of blue

I LOVE MY MIMS!! MrsYap I HEART YOU!!


who's the lucky girl today?? ME!! ME!!!!


haha today Mims was being super nice.. she took me out to Cilantro @ MiCasa apartments today for lunch..
a 4 course meal today with wine for lunch!! can you imagine squid pasta, foie gras croquets with red wine sauce and lamb with truffles.. and to top it off chocolate eclairs and caramel ice cream for dessert??


drools* i was so freaking happy after the lunch.. (^__________^)
very full but so freaking contented!! words can't describe it...
haha even mims was looking like this (^____________^) after lunch
but it could be due to the alcohol effect as she was telling me she was feeling happy giddy...
i highly recomend that place now!! the food is soo good!!
haha sorry no pics coz i forgot to bring my camera..


to top it off we had to go to klcc to get some stuff done. walked into piaget to get something done then i saw a ring.. oo pretty!! mum said she'll consider getting it for me..
*pray pray hard* pray damn hard* wish upon a star!!*


i heart MrYap so much at the mo..



xoxo lyn